So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
