I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
