I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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