my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
