I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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