I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
