She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
