Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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