she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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