she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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