I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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