What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
