i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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