i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize