I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
