I want to walk on stilts...naked
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
