So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
barbara walters just said penis...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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