awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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