i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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