Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
