I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
home. puking in laundry basket.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
