People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
