I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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