i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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