I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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