My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
