I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I could make wine with my vomit
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
