Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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