1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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