just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
