would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You were trust falling into bushes
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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