u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize