"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
