Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
