i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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