this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
