While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize