he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
