At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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