I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize