I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
