But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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