You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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