So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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