actually, I'm a sock model
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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