Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
