You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He uses pillows to masturbate.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
