the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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