i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
