dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
