tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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