we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i think i have two assholes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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