The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
