I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize