I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
