Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry about my life...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
